That Facebook feeling

You’ve lost that Facebook feelin’
Whoa, that Facebook feelin’,
You’ve lost that Facebook feelin’
Now it’s gone, gone, gone, whoa

I realize now I prefer to post things on a blog rather than in a social media setting. I like the control. It’s like working in my own shed as opposed to performing tasks out in public. Maybe it’s a generation thing. I don’t know. I just don’t like the way Facebook makes me feel. Does that sound millennial enough? Flakey? Yeah, it does. I’m not a millennial but it can’t be helped.

How does Facebook make me feel? It’s complicated but I’ll try to explain. Facebook makes me feel like a person who volunteered to go door-to-door seeking charitable donations and gets invited into some woman’s home. Here I sit on her living room sofa while she’s off somewhere preparing me “a drink,” a non-specific liquid she insists that I look like I need, though I hadn’t asked for anything and I’m not thirsty. So there I sit, gawking around at this and that, pictures of her family, a tiger skin patterned pillow, a functional looking lamp etc. feeling slightly uncomfortable, hoping I can remain polite while I convey the notion that I should be going because you know it’s not that I have better things to do but… And then the doorbell rings, and rings again, and again, and all her friends start showing up and they want to be my friend, too, and some of them know some people I knew a long time ago, so hey! why not? But this is not the type of get-together where anybody can say what they think about anything important. It’s one of those ‘see if you can get along with anybody and everybody because you know it takes a village yadda yadda.’ You gotta go along to get along. Come here, come look at Rosemary’s baby. And then someone pulls you aside and whispers that it’s not just this apartment; this whole building is like this and that’s because it’s owned by a rich asshole named Zuckerberg who keeps arbitrarily changing everyone’s lease agreement and everybody’s walking on eggshells and…

…that’s how Facebook makes me feel.